Contemplating the "Nationalization" of AIG

September 16, 2008

Dear U.S. Government:

I have some recent losses in the market. They are not "real losses," because I didn't sell anything yet. Please send me the proper form so I can sell them to you for what I paid for them. Actually, I would prefer a little more than that because I generally like to make a profit. Also, I will need some extra money to even me up because I am pretty sure all those dollars you are printing will make me poorer and substantially erode my savings. Could you also index that for inflation? I would prefer a check at the first of every year.

Also, I would like a large salary.

I promise if I make any more money I will send you taxes, and will also pay taxes on the large salary you will send me.

Love and Kisses,

Publia

P.S. I didn't borrow any money that would have led to this financial meltdown. Could you please consider a bonus because I didn't get to enjoy a fancy car or house?

P. P. S. Are we all communists now?

P.P.P.S. This is kind of old., but I thought you might like to make some copies and pass them around.