Holiday Party Tips
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy.
4. Always ask if the mashed potatoes were made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Holiday party is to eat other people's food. You want to insult your hostess?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. Spend the time you would have spent exercising taking a long nap. You don’t want to be tired for your holiday parties, do you?
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. Like a beautiful pair of shoes, if you leave these treats behind you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Pies should be eaten in threes; it’s luckier that way.
Have a great holiday season!!
H/t MD, via email
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy.
4. Always ask if the mashed potatoes were made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Holiday party is to eat other people's food. You want to insult your hostess?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. Spend the time you would have spent exercising taking a long nap. You don’t want to be tired for your holiday parties, do you?
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. Like a beautiful pair of shoes, if you leave these treats behind you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Pies should be eaten in threes; it’s luckier that way.
Have a great holiday season!!
H/t MD, via email
posted by Publia at 1:42 PM
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