Monday, October 20, 2008

Ethnically Challenged: Never Put Matzoh in the Toaster Oven

My mother used to like to toast large shredded wheat biscuits under the broiler with some butter. I don't remember whether she put the butter on first or later, but I do remember how many times she opened the broiler and the shredded wheat was totally on fire, competing with the fireplace for visual effects. Learning my lesson well, I have never toasted shredded wheat, although sometimes I yearn--and only briefly-- for that distinctive taste which can best be described as a huge, buttery Triscuit.

Today, in need of bread, I decided that I simply could toast some of that whole wheat matzoh that was in the cupboard, and the first little piece went fine. The second batch did not go so well. I looked over, my little toaster oven looked like one of those fireplaces with glass doors. Vast amounts of smoke were pouring around the door and the entire matzoh was on fire! What must have been only a few seconds seemed like an eternity until I unplugged the toaster and all the matzoh was burned up.

I opened the windows and turned on the kitchen fan, and pretty soon the smoke was gone, but I remain a little shaken. I'll bet if I had grown up with matzoh rather than shredded wheat, I would have known never to toast matzoh. If you have any matzoh around your house that lacks crispness, definately just put it in the oven on a cookie sheet. While I would like to put this incident behind me, the only hope of that is buying a new toaster oven. It looks pretty ugly now, its pristine whiteness all smokey and burned. It was not a good morning, and I never did get any toast.


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